Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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