How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
