Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dpsetsfire hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

someone threw a dead crab at me

Fav 4 1119 1485
share tweet
(954): View more from Florida

my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch

Fav 12 3364 1336
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.

Fav 15 3230 1274
share tweet
(647): View more from Ontario

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Fav 3 2035 1022
share tweet
(801): View more from Utah

Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college

Fav 8 2951 1055
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.

Fav 5 1746 830
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(505): View more from New Mexico

Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??

Fav 2 1412 542
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.

Fav 1 13 22
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.

Fav 0 15 33
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT