I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
