porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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