dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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