Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
