I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
