so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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