There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
