Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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