Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
