My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I supernannyed him into submission
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
