saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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