Your tits are I can't wait for
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
