can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
