dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
