In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
