Do vagina's smell?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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