sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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