Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
