I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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