so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
