i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
