Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
