Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
