This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
