wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
