Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
