He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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