haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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