So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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