these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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