I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
