I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize