his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
