I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
jump out the window naked night went bad
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