it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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