I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize