Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
