The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
