i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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