she was so not down for the gang bang
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
