I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
