I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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