we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Rumble strips road head = magical
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
