so explain again why im purple
no
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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