I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
