i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
