why didn't you poke me back
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
