and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
