new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
