I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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