You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
