Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
