Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
