Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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