I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
well you can't waste a boner
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
