Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
