Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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