Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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