hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize