I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
