Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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