I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
